This is a song written to the tune of the 1960s Petula Clark classic "Downtown", about Eric Foreman in Season Six of "House". Sorry if it doesn't all scan perfectly (songwriters will know what I mean). I had no idea how to link to my journal, so I posted the whole song.
When you plop down to watch “House MD”
Who you gonna see?
Foreman!
Who is the star
Who gets to verbally spar
With Mr. Hugh Laurie?
Foreman!
Just watch him when he sits through yet another differential
He knows until the sixth act that it’s quite inconsequential
The puzzle is solved
The patient keeps getting worse
So who will call for the crash cart, who calls for the nurse?
Why it’s Foreman!
He can play basketball
Foreman!
Awesome's his all in all
Foreman!
Viewers are waiting for you
(Foreman, Foreman)
In Resignation and Euphoria
He was in every scene
Foreman!
Now House chews him out
Or he has to pout about Thirteen
Foreman!
This season Taub is funny, Dr. Chase is so unhappy
Cuddy’s dating Lucas which makes Dr. House feel crappy
Cameron’s gone…
Which one’s in the dark without an interesting subplot, no character arc?
Why it’s Foreman!
Let him play comedy
Foreman!
Let him chew scenery
Foreman!
Give Foreman something to do
(Foreman, Foreman..)
(MUSICAL BREAK)
Just listen to him when he’s being suave and oh-so-witty
Just look at him, he’s well-dressed and he’s fine and oh-so-pretty
And shirtless he’s hot
Exposition every time
He doesn’t get enough drama, or any great lines
But he’s Foreman!
He can break into stuff
Foreman!
Viewers can’t get enough
Foreman!
David Shore, it’s up to you!
(Foreman, Foreman, Foreman, Foreman...)