Cuddy: You didn’t tell anyone else what I’m doing?
House: Not a soul.
Cuddy: Wilson? Cameron, maybe you mentioned it to her?
House: No, I’m a really good secret keeper. I never told anyone that Wilson wets his bed.
Cuddy: Part of the protocol for in vitro fertilization is twice-daily injections of menotropins. I can’t do it myself.
House: Turn around.
Cuddy: No clever comments about bending over?
House: Not unless you want me to.
Cuddy: I’m just not used to House the professional. [House is transfixed by Cuddy’s behind.]
House: I was just thinking about what your mother looked like, because your father obviously chose her for breeding purposes –
Cuddy: Shut up.
House: Natural selection sucks. We pick our mates based on breast size, cars they drive…. They did autopsies on married couples and found correlations in pancreas size. We’re hardwired to pick for stupid reasons, you have the chance to pick for smart reasons.
Cuddy: I think the Germans had a similar theory about 60 years ago.
House: I’m not advocating wiping out entire races, I’m just saying you don’t want to mate with the first plastic cup that buys you a drink. [All this time, he’s wiping a patch with a alcohol swab.]
Cuddy: I’m pretty sure you’ve got that.
House: Microbes can be sneaky.
Cuddy: Ow! Thanks.
House: Twice a day. This is going to be fun.
Who's Your Daddy, S2